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just a girl with alot on her mind

Monday, June 27, 2011

Damages song

By Myself- 06 27 2011

Those eyes hide so much
Chills to even meet them
Damages and such
Secrets held within

Chorus
And you can run, run for all it's worth
See if you can catch her
And you can see, see through all the hurt
See if you can fracture
Can you break the wall?

Loves lost and past lives
Memories remain
Strength and pain survive
On a heart now stained

chorus

There's a wall, always been there
Guaranteed you'll find
And you know someday, somewhere
It'll cross her mind

That you ran, ran for all it was worth
And when you reached her
You could see through the hurt
And then even further

But that wall runs high
Stone behind those eyes
And it cuts like a knife
When you realize

You can...

Chorus and fade

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Unbroken

By Myself 06 27 2011
for her

I'm so tired of living out this lie
Knowing you haunt my shadows
The words I've come to live by
Meaningless and hollow

Break me? Go ahead and try
I know what always follows
You'll be there on high
Leaving me in the shallows

I can take it and I wont cry
You can dish it out though
Till the pain runs dry
Unbroken still from your blows

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Puppet-Master

by Myself
to a puppet-master
that I once knew
04~26-2010


Once again you set the stage
Take your place behind the curtain
Pre-rehearsed script, page for page
Of an ending you've made certain

Tugging all the strings
Changing scenes as you see fit
Savoring what applause brings
And reveling in it

Lights, camera, action
You molded the cast and lines
Zero tolerance for any infraction
Shocking what acting belies

Your feigned ignorance
Proof of your denial
Orchestrated song and dance
Integrity on trial

Curtain falls mid-scene
Lights fade in the silence
No security improv brings
No audience to even notice

No one left but the Puppet-master, all alone
Sad, twisted, and mourning dulusions
Reality stares beyond the masks once worn
Leaving the end credits conclusive

Ghosts

By Myself
06~26~2006

There are ghosts, cant you see them
Floating through the shadows of your mind
And a loss, a nameless Unforgiven
And a sanctuary you will never find

Chorus:
It's the ghosts of whom you used to be
And the girl who never was
Now in darkness can you finally see
Truth is stronger than blood?

Where once tears lay
now a weapon in her hands
In places ghosts have strayed
She will make a final stand

~Chorus~

A destiny forgotten
Ghosts of the past keep rising
A need unrelenting
A battle worth fighting

Little girl hopes crushed in the pain
So be it, that girl died alongside
But the ghosts still remain
And your guilt eats you alive

~Chorus~

Spoken: You see them from the corner of your eye
Feel them all around you
You cant escape your crimes
They're coming for you

Sung: It's the ghosts of whom they used to be
And the reality of what they've become
Your sin, your shame, your fault-- and you can't see
Ghosts of the past will haunt you down

~Chorus~

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Sunday, April 25, 2010

Dagger Rose

By myself
~some time ago~
Edited 4~25~10


Water on stone
And hope lies dying
Proof of forever alone
And hope never rising

A soul caught adrift
And destiny clouded
Old wounds bleed afresh
In mystery shrouded

Innocence murdered
Bloodstained be the roses
A silence tethered
A timespace frozen

A dagger's blade felt and not to be seen
Buried to the hilt
Scars the vertebrae between
Fingerprints on the handle bear no sign of guilt


Like Andromeda mourning her chains
Yet loathing the monster in wait
A kingdom's claim
Equals a ruined fate

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Veteran

By Myself
11-28-09

You can't kill the fighter within
Bloodstained and weary though I be
Somehow there's always strength to rise again
The truth weakens you and upholds me

In spite of your bullets and poison arrows
I won't deny thier pain is real
I still walk where you fear to follow
On I stand even when the wounds won't heal

Wounds run deep on either side
And much blood has been lost
Yet always victory for either denied
Every war has its cost

And on you've waged this war
Against me laid a seige
Taking over the entire world
See it destroyed no matter the casulties

Your hope of my surrender is futile
Nor will you outlast my resolve
Yor tactics worsening all the while
But on the battlefeild I have evolved

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Untitled

By Myself
11-28-09

Can't trust myself anymore
The resolve is there but the will wears down within
It's all places I've been before
And waters I refuse to drown in

The life that was left behind
Was too much for time to erase
And there are moments alone I find
It drags me hostage to that place

No matter how I try to win
Or even keep the darkness at bay
The shadows come slowly creeping
Doing all they can to force me to stay

Pulling me down, in over my head
A spirit to be crushed and broken
The silence heavy and thoughts unsaid
The words rise but upon them I'm choking

I gave up everything
All I've never wanted
And left claiming nothing
But it's left me haunted

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